Post by Blackfire on Feb 19, 2008 19:39:43 GMT -5
Banana: Alright, students, settle down. Now, when writing a good RP post, one must let their mind explore. We'll use Blackfire as our dummy.
Blackfire: Hey! That's rude!
Banana: As I was saying...An ok post would look like this:
Blackfire walked down to the river and began to lap up the water, seeing his reflexion.
This is an ok post. It's short, and not very descriptive. Keep in mind that cats have five senses, just like you two-legs, as well as colors. There is life around them! Be descriptive!! A good post would look like this:
The black kit bounced around happily. Beeming down at him was Rosepelt, his foster mother.
"Settle down, Blackkit! You're going to mess up your well-groomed pelt!" She laughed, touching the kit's nose with her tail-tip. With a squeak of excitement, Blackkit instantly sat beside Rosepelt. Tonight he would finally become an Apprentice! But who would be his mentor? The thoughts buzzed in the young kit's mind.
"May all Cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the HighRock for a Clan meeting." The words rang out, sending Blackkit sprinting out into the Clearing. Rosepelt bounded after him, trying to catch him. Zig-zagging between Warriors, Elders, and Apprentices, Blackkit came to a hault in front of the HighRock. Rosepelt picked him up by the scruff roughly, scolding him through a mouthful of fur. She set him down in the appropriate place, sitting beside him. Finally! I'm going to be an Apprentice! He thought anxiously. His pelt lay flat from Rosepelt's quick groom, though his whiskers quivered with excitement. He held his head high, his chest puffed out. His eyes shone with the happiness of a Kit in Leaf-fall, and his tail curled around him neatly. He imagined how he looked, sitting there. I bet I look like an Apprentice being given his Warrior Name! He thought, though he knew it was silly. He more than likely looked like a Kit being given his Apprentice name, which he was!
"Good Luck." he heard Rosepelt's soft whisper in his ear, sending chills down his spine. This was it. This was his Apprentice Ceremony...
That's better! Remember, you don't always have to say your character's name. Use pronouns such as He, She, It, They, We(Only when your character is talking to another, or thinking!). Now here is an example of a super post. Please note that this was done by someone who inspires Blackfire greatly!!
Her traitorous thoughts. Oftentimes, Northernflames wondered why she was here. Sitting on the soft, lichen floors of the forest. Thunderclan, the word that made her shudder, her nose twitch up and eyes left closed, a slow rumble in her throat growing. It was not the purr of pride that most felt about this awful clan. They thought it so great, never growing past the turn of the corner, waiting for battle. Loyalty ran there lives, blind loyalty, that was mixed with dread and fear. Cowards, they were, anyone who did not rebel was a coward, because they never thought about it. Simply aloud this blind faith in the clan to control them, and this clan was so unprotected, so vunerable, it made her sick. Perhaps it was her, that was the cowards, Northernflame who would not accept her fate, though she had been crowned a warrior.
Her training had been mostly the skill that had come from her mother, intincs, like seasoned warrior was programmed into her veins, just there waiting. It had been easy and short, and her mentor had mostly been there, just for support, watching. He couldn't teach her anything. Thinking back to those cool cool calm days, the early morning where light flickered down through the trees, dancing on the ground, she knew that it would have been a better time to run. Her memories had no feelings, showing as some had passion for the sport of hunting. The way she mauled her mentor through those soft pits, throwing him softly into the dust. Time after time, she could see him coming at her nothing blocking him. A rougher bite or a unsheathing of claws would have made him leave forever. They would have thought in an accident, a freak accident, and surely no apprentice could have been that strong. They would pity her, and though elders would gossip, they wouldn't really no.
It was more complicated now.
One could not just go up and claw at those who question him. She had seen in happen and he was put to death. A loner. Thinking back to that day, shortly after she had been crowned a warrior, when he had died, it had made her sick. Northernflame hadn't known, then though, of what was too happen. Now she fully did, and, suspected others did too. This loner had been asked but her to attack her mentor. The one that had made all those dreadful days of her worse. Slow painful and dragging on. It was, she knew, that this loner wouldn't have done it if she had not first made him think that she loved him. Flirting, and teasing in a gentle, caring simple way. Like most warriors, really. The loner had though her soft, and cute. It was a simple act to follow, after watching them all for so much time. Northernflame had no feeling for the male, the one that she had waited her days upon when she was a warrior, now that she could wander off.
It had been a painful day, when she had finally convinced him. Strong, muscular, thick type of cat, terribly dense though. He had jumped for the throat. But of coarse, the other, in all of his Starclandic glory had achieved. The good man had one and it had just made Northernflame thick. Not the body of the cat that lay before her paws, but the way her former mentor, that, of anyone knew what she was capable of smiled at her, and said, in his arrogant inflated tone, typical of men after battle, "I shall protect you, love, I'm amazed he didn't kill you himself." Just like that, because she was younger, like the she-cat couldn't handle the loner. If he had lived, after the attack, she would have killed him herself. But Northernflame just smiled at him, not even the fleck in her eyes revealing her true thoughts.
Now, however, this was all different. That loner, he had gotten her pregnant. Kits, right now, where not what Northernflame had needed. In fact, now was the first time, her stomach becoming swollen that others would be able to tell. She hadn't said anything, to the medicine cat or the leader, her eyes bursting with glee, almost unable to contain herself with happiness. This wasn't a good thing for her. The sooner they had birthed, she had first thought, the better. But then, over time, her head had reexamined in all, what was going to happen. If, she thought, she was able to keep a kit, just one, she could train it. Herself. Tell her the plans for Thunderclan. And then, when he was a little apprentice he would have a chance.
The one she missed.
Northernflame smiled for real.
Yup! Take notes! Also, what helps in creating longer posts is proper grammar skills! While this is just an overview, I will be here to give Individual lessons to those who request it! Just give us a PM!! You're dismissed!
-Banana
Blackfire: Hey! That's rude!
Banana: As I was saying...An ok post would look like this:
Blackfire walked down to the river and began to lap up the water, seeing his reflexion.
This is an ok post. It's short, and not very descriptive. Keep in mind that cats have five senses, just like you two-legs, as well as colors. There is life around them! Be descriptive!! A good post would look like this:
The black kit bounced around happily. Beeming down at him was Rosepelt, his foster mother.
"Settle down, Blackkit! You're going to mess up your well-groomed pelt!" She laughed, touching the kit's nose with her tail-tip. With a squeak of excitement, Blackkit instantly sat beside Rosepelt. Tonight he would finally become an Apprentice! But who would be his mentor? The thoughts buzzed in the young kit's mind.
"May all Cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the HighRock for a Clan meeting." The words rang out, sending Blackkit sprinting out into the Clearing. Rosepelt bounded after him, trying to catch him. Zig-zagging between Warriors, Elders, and Apprentices, Blackkit came to a hault in front of the HighRock. Rosepelt picked him up by the scruff roughly, scolding him through a mouthful of fur. She set him down in the appropriate place, sitting beside him. Finally! I'm going to be an Apprentice! He thought anxiously. His pelt lay flat from Rosepelt's quick groom, though his whiskers quivered with excitement. He held his head high, his chest puffed out. His eyes shone with the happiness of a Kit in Leaf-fall, and his tail curled around him neatly. He imagined how he looked, sitting there. I bet I look like an Apprentice being given his Warrior Name! He thought, though he knew it was silly. He more than likely looked like a Kit being given his Apprentice name, which he was!
"Good Luck." he heard Rosepelt's soft whisper in his ear, sending chills down his spine. This was it. This was his Apprentice Ceremony...
That's better! Remember, you don't always have to say your character's name. Use pronouns such as He, She, It, They, We(Only when your character is talking to another, or thinking!). Now here is an example of a super post. Please note that this was done by someone who inspires Blackfire greatly!!
Her traitorous thoughts. Oftentimes, Northernflames wondered why she was here. Sitting on the soft, lichen floors of the forest. Thunderclan, the word that made her shudder, her nose twitch up and eyes left closed, a slow rumble in her throat growing. It was not the purr of pride that most felt about this awful clan. They thought it so great, never growing past the turn of the corner, waiting for battle. Loyalty ran there lives, blind loyalty, that was mixed with dread and fear. Cowards, they were, anyone who did not rebel was a coward, because they never thought about it. Simply aloud this blind faith in the clan to control them, and this clan was so unprotected, so vunerable, it made her sick. Perhaps it was her, that was the cowards, Northernflame who would not accept her fate, though she had been crowned a warrior.
Her training had been mostly the skill that had come from her mother, intincs, like seasoned warrior was programmed into her veins, just there waiting. It had been easy and short, and her mentor had mostly been there, just for support, watching. He couldn't teach her anything. Thinking back to those cool cool calm days, the early morning where light flickered down through the trees, dancing on the ground, she knew that it would have been a better time to run. Her memories had no feelings, showing as some had passion for the sport of hunting. The way she mauled her mentor through those soft pits, throwing him softly into the dust. Time after time, she could see him coming at her nothing blocking him. A rougher bite or a unsheathing of claws would have made him leave forever. They would have thought in an accident, a freak accident, and surely no apprentice could have been that strong. They would pity her, and though elders would gossip, they wouldn't really no.
It was more complicated now.
One could not just go up and claw at those who question him. She had seen in happen and he was put to death. A loner. Thinking back to that day, shortly after she had been crowned a warrior, when he had died, it had made her sick. Northernflame hadn't known, then though, of what was too happen. Now she fully did, and, suspected others did too. This loner had been asked but her to attack her mentor. The one that had made all those dreadful days of her worse. Slow painful and dragging on. It was, she knew, that this loner wouldn't have done it if she had not first made him think that she loved him. Flirting, and teasing in a gentle, caring simple way. Like most warriors, really. The loner had though her soft, and cute. It was a simple act to follow, after watching them all for so much time. Northernflame had no feeling for the male, the one that she had waited her days upon when she was a warrior, now that she could wander off.
It had been a painful day, when she had finally convinced him. Strong, muscular, thick type of cat, terribly dense though. He had jumped for the throat. But of coarse, the other, in all of his Starclandic glory had achieved. The good man had one and it had just made Northernflame thick. Not the body of the cat that lay before her paws, but the way her former mentor, that, of anyone knew what she was capable of smiled at her, and said, in his arrogant inflated tone, typical of men after battle, "I shall protect you, love, I'm amazed he didn't kill you himself." Just like that, because she was younger, like the she-cat couldn't handle the loner. If he had lived, after the attack, she would have killed him herself. But Northernflame just smiled at him, not even the fleck in her eyes revealing her true thoughts.
Now, however, this was all different. That loner, he had gotten her pregnant. Kits, right now, where not what Northernflame had needed. In fact, now was the first time, her stomach becoming swollen that others would be able to tell. She hadn't said anything, to the medicine cat or the leader, her eyes bursting with glee, almost unable to contain herself with happiness. This wasn't a good thing for her. The sooner they had birthed, she had first thought, the better. But then, over time, her head had reexamined in all, what was going to happen. If, she thought, she was able to keep a kit, just one, she could train it. Herself. Tell her the plans for Thunderclan. And then, when he was a little apprentice he would have a chance.
The one she missed.
Northernflame smiled for real.
Yup! Take notes! Also, what helps in creating longer posts is proper grammar skills! While this is just an overview, I will be here to give Individual lessons to those who request it! Just give us a PM!! You're dismissed!
-Banana
